There is no large handbook that comes with the arrival of a child. That's fortunate because there truly are so many different ways to raise a child and live a life and unfortunate because there truly are so many different ways to raise a child and live a life. Sometimes it's overwhelming and you just want someone to swoop down and guide you. Children, however, grow slowly and if we watch and listen carefully, they often give us guidance. When my kids left the infant stage, they didn't suddenly wake up as terrible two-year-olds. When they rounded the corner into their teenage years, we didn't suddenly announce, "Oh, today you are a pubescent teenager who no longer listens and admires our every word." The pimples slowly started to appear, the body slowly developed, the attitude stealthily crept in. As our kids changed, we adapted.
That all sounds blissful, right? Well, it wasn't. Parenting is a messy profession that has provided me with some of my greatest lows as well as my greatest highs. By far the most abrupt change came a year ago when we sent our youngest off to college. One day he was eating dinner with us, the next he wasn't. For twenty-two years we had had at least one other mouth to feed most every night and now it was back to just two.
As sudden as I have made this change out to be, there really were transitions leading up to the empty nest. By the time they are seniors in high school, most kids are naturally pulling away and spending a large amount of time out of the house. As with all the previous developmental stages, this one did have a progression. But despite the slow evolution both our children took on their way to college and beyond, when my youngest left home, I did suddenly wake up and think, "Damn, I'm going to miss that towering young man who used up the last of the peanut butter right before he left and was way too happy when we said our goodbyes." Retiring from the day-to-day parenting life was not easy.
But I would be lying if I said I was suddenly miserable all the time. It took a while to settle in, but I suddenly began realizing how much free time I had and how many activities and hobbies I let slide when I became a parent. And my husband and I began to remember how we used to spend weekends before diapers, play dates, swim meets, tournaments, recitals, homework projects (that really WAS an amazing iguana our "daughter" made), etcetera, etcetera. It was nice to come home from work and know that the evening was mine, to be spent however I wished. I could be selfish again.
I've reflected over the year about stages that I have particularly enjoyed or found challenging. This current stage falls into both. I enjoy my newfound selfishness, but there is a part of me that just feels more whole when my kids are home. Unfortunately, an arrival always comes with a departure, and those stink. They remind me of the emptiness of the nest, but they also highlight the passage of time and how much I have learned and gained through this parenting gig. I can't think of anything that defines bitter and sweet more.
Baking has always been cathartic for me, going as far back as high school. There's something about creaming sugar and butter that allows me to escape whatever needs escaping from. As I settle into the chemistry of baking soda and ingredient ratios, or watch the magic that is inherent in yeast, my heart rate inevitably settles. I have to pace myself, however, with my baking endeavors so that my husband and I don't balloon out of all our clothes. A batch of cookies last a whole lot longer when there are only two enjoying them. I recently read an article about the evolution of the brownie.
Recipes of old tended to be full of flour and more cake-like, whereas the more current renditions typically pare down the flour to create a more chewy center. I've tried a lot of different recipes, but I always come back to this one that I found probably fifteen years ago on the side of a bag of King Arthur Flour. It sits somewhere in between the brownies of old and new, but it packs a powerful chocolate punch. And what can't help cure a case of empty nest syndrome more than chocolate. Bon Appetit!
The Best Fudge Brownie (King Arthur's title, and I wholeheartedly agree)
1 cup unsalted butter
2 1/4 cup sugar
1 1/4 Dutch-process cocoa (here I digress and use the amazing Scharffen Berger unsweetened natural cocoa powder)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cup flour
2 cups chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease a 9 x 13 plan (I use glass).
In a medium-sized saucepan melt the butter over low heat, then add the sugar and stir to combine. Heat this mixture a bit; you will notice it getting shiny. This apparently creates the shiny top crust on the finished product. Transfer this mixture to a mixing bowl.
Add the cocoa, salt, baking powder, and vanilla. Add the eggs and beat until smooth, then add the flour and chips. Spoon batter into the pan and bake for 28 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool for 5 minutes and then loosen the edges with a table knife to help prevent the brownies from sinking in the middle. I have actually never done this and realize I need to read my recipes more clearly from start to finish! Enjoy.
That all sounds blissful, right? Well, it wasn't. Parenting is a messy profession that has provided me with some of my greatest lows as well as my greatest highs. By far the most abrupt change came a year ago when we sent our youngest off to college. One day he was eating dinner with us, the next he wasn't. For twenty-two years we had had at least one other mouth to feed most every night and now it was back to just two.
As sudden as I have made this change out to be, there really were transitions leading up to the empty nest. By the time they are seniors in high school, most kids are naturally pulling away and spending a large amount of time out of the house. As with all the previous developmental stages, this one did have a progression. But despite the slow evolution both our children took on their way to college and beyond, when my youngest left home, I did suddenly wake up and think, "Damn, I'm going to miss that towering young man who used up the last of the peanut butter right before he left and was way too happy when we said our goodbyes." Retiring from the day-to-day parenting life was not easy.
But I would be lying if I said I was suddenly miserable all the time. It took a while to settle in, but I suddenly began realizing how much free time I had and how many activities and hobbies I let slide when I became a parent. And my husband and I began to remember how we used to spend weekends before diapers, play dates, swim meets, tournaments, recitals, homework projects (that really WAS an amazing iguana our "daughter" made), etcetera, etcetera. It was nice to come home from work and know that the evening was mine, to be spent however I wished. I could be selfish again.
I've reflected over the year about stages that I have particularly enjoyed or found challenging. This current stage falls into both. I enjoy my newfound selfishness, but there is a part of me that just feels more whole when my kids are home. Unfortunately, an arrival always comes with a departure, and those stink. They remind me of the emptiness of the nest, but they also highlight the passage of time and how much I have learned and gained through this parenting gig. I can't think of anything that defines bitter and sweet more.
Baking has always been cathartic for me, going as far back as high school. There's something about creaming sugar and butter that allows me to escape whatever needs escaping from. As I settle into the chemistry of baking soda and ingredient ratios, or watch the magic that is inherent in yeast, my heart rate inevitably settles. I have to pace myself, however, with my baking endeavors so that my husband and I don't balloon out of all our clothes. A batch of cookies last a whole lot longer when there are only two enjoying them. I recently read an article about the evolution of the brownie.
The Best Fudge Brownie (King Arthur's title, and I wholeheartedly agree)
1 cup unsalted butter
2 1/4 cup sugar
1 1/4 Dutch-process cocoa (here I digress and use the amazing Scharffen Berger unsweetened natural cocoa powder)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cup flour
2 cups chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease a 9 x 13 plan (I use glass).
In a medium-sized saucepan melt the butter over low heat, then add the sugar and stir to combine. Heat this mixture a bit; you will notice it getting shiny. This apparently creates the shiny top crust on the finished product. Transfer this mixture to a mixing bowl.
Add the cocoa, salt, baking powder, and vanilla. Add the eggs and beat until smooth, then add the flour and chips. Spoon batter into the pan and bake for 28 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool for 5 minutes and then loosen the edges with a table knife to help prevent the brownies from sinking in the middle. I have actually never done this and realize I need to read my recipes more clearly from start to finish! Enjoy.
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