Forward Thinking

After seeing the movie "50/50" several years ago, I declared at the dinner table that in my next life I would be marrying Joseph Gordon-Levitt. My family's reaction was surprisingly nonchalant. Granted, I was talking about my "next" life and about a man who is twenty years younger and a wildly successful young actor. These minor hurdles have a way of neatly working out in your next life, a fact I just love about the next life. I've been hooked on Joseph Gordon-Levitt ever since seeing his Glee-like rendition of the Hall and Oates tune "You Make My Dreams" in the movie "500 Days of Summer." Go ahead, click on that link. I guarantee you'll be smiling by the end.

I know, I am setting the bar quite high, but I do have a backup if things with Joseph don't exactly work out.  A few months ago I was listening to Fresh Air on NPR and tuned in midway through an interview with J.R. Moehringer, author of the memoir The Tender Bar. While listening to the interview, I was unaware of his connection to this book, the same one my brother told me about several years ago right after it was published. J.R. Moehringer grew up in Manhasset, New York, just like my family, and the book tells the story of his childhood, living with a single mom and an eccentric group of relatives, while being taken under the wing of a neighborhood bar and its regulars. My brother, eight years older than me, actually frequented this same bar during his high school years and so felt a personal connection. I, on the other hand, had never set foot in Publicans, so at first mention I wasn't too excited to rush out and read the book.

Fast forward to the Fresh Air interview. Driving in my car, I found myself mesmerized by this man's description of the process of writing his college application essay for Yale, the only school to which he  applied. His technique? J.R. Moehringer had a list of eleven really big words that he was determined to use in his essay despite their randomness. Strident, provisional, bucolic, fulcrom, behemoth, inimical, Jesuitical, minion, eclectic, esthetic, and Marquis de Sod. He loved the sound of all of these words and was certain that the admission's officer that came across his essay would be so impressed with his vocabulary that he or she would rush to admit him. Fortunately, his wise mother admonished him about his insane-sounding essay  and told him to write from his heart. And so he did, telling instead about two older gentlemen who owned the bookstore where he worked and who acted as mentors and filled in all the voids missing from his high school education. The essay worked and J.R. Moehringer was accepted into Yale.

One of my favorite parts of the story comes right after he receives his acceptance letter. Bill and Bud, his aging tutors, explain to J.R. that it might be wise to lower his expectations because they fear he is not ready for some things, namely disillusionment. Having just been accepted to Yale, this discussion falls on deaf ears because in J.R.'s mind everything is, and will continue to be, perfect. Given that you're only halfway through the book at this point, you know as a reader that there's plenty of disillusionment to come.

J.R. Moehringer is a gifted story teller, and his honesty is striking. Having just sent a child off to college, I spent a lot of time last year mulling over this notion of how our society places such a premium on a young adult's choice of school. As grown adults, we assume that their lives are set if they can just get into the right school. J.R. Moehringer, and many others, would challenge that assumption. Just last weekend my daughter was wondering how, after receiving a BA in International Relations and French, I became an elementary school teacher. I sensed her disappointed wonder as to why I wasn't currently working as an ambassador in some faraway land or somehow using my major more effectively.

Our lives are full of decisions that are made for all sorts of different reasons. The timing last weekend wasn't right for me to explain to my daughter just how I made the decisions I have made up to this point in my life, but someday I would like to. I would like to both share and avoid Bill and Bud's advise. The sky IS the limit for an 18-year-old, and it should be that way. The most powerful message I took away from The Tender Bar is just how important it is to persevere. J.R. Moehringer is one of those individuals who had so many barriers blocking his path, but he just kept plugging away. He made a lot of decisions along the way that he later regretted, but he learned from them and moved on. He is a man who not only lives with his regrets but learns from them -- a sound way to live, I believe. His humility is remarkable, so much so that Andre Agassi, after reading The Tender Bar,  had to convince him that he was the right person to pen his biography. I don't know about you, but if Andre Agassi came knocking on my door, I doubt I would say, "Well, I'll think about that." JR Moehringer may not like to dance to Hall and Oates, but he'd make a fine husband. In my next life.

So how on earth am I going to tie in a drink to all this futuristic pondering? Well, given my Long Island heritage, it seems fitting to talk about the Long Island Iced Tea. Before creating one for this blog, I had only sampled one of these concoctions long ago in college. Remember, small school with more bars than truly necessary? I remember watching the bartender add one type of alcohol after another and thought the final mixture was going to be awful. What a surprise when it not only tasted good, but it actually tasted like iced tea! How did anyone actually come up with this recipe? Its history is sketchy, placing its origin in either 1972 or sometime during the 1920s. It was either invented by a bartender on Long Island (NY) or by "Old Man Bishop" who lived in a community called Long Island in Kingsport, Tennessee. I like the idea of the Prohibition era tale, but it sounds more like something that would have been developed in the seventies. Either way, the Long Island Iced Tea is mixology gone wild, but it's tasty.

Long Island Iced Tea

1/2 ounce vodka

1/2 ounce rum

1/2 ounce gin

1/2 ounce tequila

1/2 ounce Triple Sec

1 ounce fresh lemon juice

1/2 ounce Simple Syrup

3 to 4 ounces Coke

Lemon wedge

Place all the ingredients (except the Coke) in a shaker with 4 to 5 ice cubes and shake vigorously for about half a minute. Strain the mixture into a collins glass that is filled with ice and top with Coke. Add the lemon wedge. If this doesn't put you in a New York state of mind, I don't know what will. Yo, Cheers (spoken with a strong Long Gisland accent)!